THE ARCHIVE
Relationships, identity, overthinking, and honest notes from the unfinished business of growing up.
ESSAYS, CONFESSIONS & COMMENTARY
Pick whatever sounds suspiciously like your own life. There are no tidy lessons here — only honest stories and the occasional useful thought.
READ IN ANY ORDER.
ADULTHOOD ISN’T LINEAR.
Trigger warning: references to sexual abuse, questioning sexuality, and a lifelong obsession with Fatima Whitbread. Also warning that this is a looooong post. Everyone’s story is different and every life, every single story, is valid. This is just mine. I’ve always been very open about being bi, and then pansexual once that label was made…
READ STORY →As I was searching for the scoop in my new tub of collagen powder this morning, I was reminded of those sawdust lucky dips you used to get at school fetes. Digging your hands through a barrel of soft powder to find a toy, sweet or even a wrapped present was so exciting, and dusting…
READ STORY →My dad is dying. This hasn’t exactly come as a shock. He has diabetes, Alzheimer’s and cancer, so we knew it was coming. He is only 71. It all started about 5 years ago, he seemed to be getting forgetful. He’d gloss over it, but soon it became apparent that it was getting worse. Then…
READ STORY →I was chatting to a friend last night who’s starting a new business. She was worried that people on social media would judge her for posting too much, posting the wrong thing, or not like what she posted. I hate that she feels like that when she should be celebrating doing something cool and feeling…
READ STORY →Hi. My name is Beth and I don't drink. My love of alcohol began in my teens. Like loads of other rebellious kids in my year I'd save up my dinner money and then, on a Friday night, ask some poor unsuspecting bloke outside the corner shop to grab me a bottle of lambrusco (classy)…
READ STORY →Love and belonging sits right slap bang in the middle of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. We hear a lot about love (snore, I’m over it) but what is belonging, love’s even lesser understood cousin? And how do we find this thing that is supposed to be so crucial to our motivation and contentment as a…
READ STORY →Son 1 is turning 14 tomorrow and you'd think that that would scare the crap out of me. Teenage boys seem like a different species, don't they? Well no. I totally get where teenage boys are coming from, because, when you think about it, they have a lot in common with perimenopausal women (that's women…
READ STORY →I'm confused because I feel like we’re constantly getting mixed messages. On the one hand we're told that when something is easy it must mean it's "right", but we’re also told that in order to have anything worthwhile, we must get out of our comfort zone. So which is it? In the case of relationships…
READ STORY →I’ve always had a very love/hate relationship with social media. I was one of the first people I knew to be on Friends Reunited, and then on the highly underrated MySpace. When Facebook started to become popular I resisted for months because it felt disloyal to my beloved MySpace. At MySpace I could be super…
READ STORY →I've said it before, but I’ll happily say it again, and shout it from the rooftops in fact. I bloody love September. It’s got all the joy and fresh starti-ness of New Year’s Day, but without the added pressure or panic of it being a whole new year that you’ve got to make count. Well,…
READ STORY →You need sex, it doesn’t really matter with whom, but you’d rather not open up a can of relationship worms right now for whatever reason, so NSA sex is the way forward. You find a potential “friend” and know that you’ve both got an itch that needs scratching, so you do a little dance around…
READ STORY →I bloody love dating, it’s so much fun. Getting dressed up and meeting someone you’ve never met before at a pub or for coffee, it feels sexy and glamourous to me. I love the interesting new smell of an aftershave I’m not familiar with, or the memories of one I am. Those first few moments…
READ STORY →Years ago I had a friend called Liz. She was one of those friends who seems to drift into your life then drift out. I can't even remember how we met or why, but for a short time Liz was part of our gang. Liz was a fairly common name and if I remember correctly…
READ STORY →I've got a weird mole. It's new and I don't like it. Like many people I've got loads of moles and personally I don't mind them, I think they're alright. I've got one on my arm that looks like a coco-pop which is my favourite one, some other boring ones which can't be likened to…
READ STORY →I love Sundays. It's the one morning of the week where I don't have to workout, there's no school or work, and no football matches or training to be taxi for so I often have the freedom to chill all day if I want to. Also every couple of weeks I don't even have to…
READ STORY →Sometimes I miss my ex. Its been 6 weeks since we split. We were only together a year and a half; I’ve been through way worse breakups. And at the time it felt like a massive weight had been lifted, and, just to be clear from the outset, I still feel like that. But yesterday…
READ STORY →That sounded very crass, harsh and unfeeling so please allow me to elaborate on that sensationalist and attention-grabbing headline before you criticise… (put your judgey pants away people, it’s a common writing technique). In the last 9 years I’ve had, and ended, more relationships than I can count (actually I probably could count them, but…
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